My Version of Afghanistan

I couldn't believe how the United States took a tragic situation, 9/11, and made it worse by starting a war in Afghanistan. And then Iraq was even more nonsensical. I was reading a lot of Dr. Seuss at the time with beautiful young children of my own. I guess writing this was how I coped.

One Bad Apple

This story begins with a wee little bush

Who was planted well, and got a nice push

From his Mommy and Daddy and the “Elderberries Five”

Who wanted to see the little one thrive.

And that is how a bush named Bub

Came to be Leader and King of the Shrub.

The others didn’t bother

Asking why Bub was in charge: they knew his father

For he used to be Leader and King in Charge

Back when he was younger and greener and large.

Bub wasn’t quite ready, but really how hard

Could it be to lead the shrubs in a yard?

And every plant thought that all would be well

Until the day something terrible fell. . .

In the middle of a cool autumn morning

A roundish red something ker-plunked without warning.

It broke several branches and berries and boughs

And smushed one bush like so many plows

They all asked, “What made the branches snapple?”

Looked on the ground and found: one bad apple.

This apple had rotted up high in its tree

Then when a wind blew, it somehow broke free

And dropped with a plop on the low shrubbery.

Well, the damage was cleared; the branches were mended

The flattened bush was treated and tended

And every shrub throughout the land

Stretched to lend a helping hand

Yes, every bush helped every other

Each one caring like each one’s mother.

But the helping ended as quickly as it started

When the plants noticed the bad apple guarded

He was the cause of this terrible day

He should be taught that crime doesn’t pay.

But what should they do to him?

Mash him? Stew him?

Bash him? Glue him?

Stash him? Sue him?

They asked these questions of their new king

Bub said, “Give me time; I am thinking!”

Then he called for the Elders and every insider.

“Give me thoughts,” he said,

“For I’m the decider!”

And when the meeting was finally out

The King of the Shrubs, he gave a great shout.

And every bush listened (as well as plants can)

Since they knew that their leader would tell them the plan.

“You know,” said Bub, “it's not just the apple that's rotten

Who caused this day which will not be forgotten.

He couldn’t have done it without his arbor

(The tree above us, I mean) who gave him safe harbor.

It’s the tree who lifted this fruit so high,

Giving him height to hurt from the sky

It’s the tree who’s at fault

It’s he we must halt!

“This tree is chock-full of more fruit that could rot

And continue to drop, on this very spot

Therefore, we must send this tree a message

It must be so clear that he won’t have to guess-age

He needs to know that it’s not okay

To harbor the apples that choose to decay.

“My friends,” Bub announced, “it is now time to act

For as you can see, we were attacked!”

And all the bushes in the area

Got mighty full of mass hysteria

“Bushes should be free!” they began to rant

“Stop the tree!” they began to chant.

The only problem they could see

Was how to stop the terrible tree.

“We’ll teach him with our prickly thorns,”

said Bub, “They’ll reach like rhino horns.

Yes we will truly shock and awe him

When we use our thorns to claw him

And finally the tree will be on alert:

Hold your fruit, my tree, and no one gets hurt!”

One small bush named Rose said, “Shoot!

Can’t we just ask him to hold onto his fruit?

And punish the one apple who already fell

By giving him to William Tell?”

(William Tell was known to shoot

Arrows through his extra fruit.)

“Make no mistake,” said Bub, “the tree brought this to our shore

The only choice we have is war

So all trees learn not to grow apples that go bad

From Boise to Bonn, Beijing to Bagdad.”

“I guess that makes sense,” said Rose (then a pause)

“So what can I do to help our great cause?”

Said he: “You’re too young to help with the lopping

The best thing for you is to nap and go shopping!”

So the battle began: bush against tree

Bite against bark; the fight for safety

The tree laughed at first: “What are you doing? It tickles!”

But soon felt a welt of so many prickles

And discovered that he was in terrible trouble

When his smooth-faced trunk turned to five o’clock stubble.

And as his bark grew slowly shredded

His apples once crisp became spongy, fetid

And as the fresh fruits drooped into mushes

They dropped from their branches upon the poor bushes

The shrubs began to cry and complain:

“He’s not getting the message and this is a pain!”

So Bub huddled amid the “Elderberries Five”

Then made a mad speech: “If you want to survive

You’ll do as I say and do as I tell

So make no mistake and listen up well!

“This tree has expanded this terrible war

If that’s how he wants it, we will do more:

From here on in, long as he bears fruit

I command you all to cut at the root.

That’s right, we must chop this terrible tree

Who grows high hanging apples so dangerously!”

“Bushes should be free!” began the rant

“Chop the tree!” began the chant.

From then on things got really frantic

Every bush waving like the wavy Atlantic

Stretching their branches to scratch at the tree

Reaching roots, green shoots, anything apple-y.

The tree, peeved with the marks on his barks

Cried out to Bub to stop biting like sharks

“Why do I feel like I’m being tortured?

One bad apple fell and you blame the whole orchard!”

Bub didn’t answer the apple tree’s question

To him, the Decider, it was just a suggestion.

Yet still the bushes at the tree’s roots snipped

Until it’s big bough slowly… dipped

Until the great tree, lowly… tipped

Like half a zipper, half unzipped.

And as the lumber leaned, losing, unlimber

Bub cupped his hands and cried out: “Timber!”

But as the great tree prepared to fall

There was another, smaller call.

When Bub announced: “We’ve accomplished our mish…”

The caller persisted: “I have a wish!”

“Who dared interrupt me?” King Bub complained.

The voice, from below, its volume gained.

It was one of the hundreds of apples fallen

“I’m sorry,” she said, “to disturb with my callin’

But if this tree falls, just look where it goes!”

And she pointed across, at the bush called Rose

Who was napping and dreaming of next year’s flowers

Just as she’d done for the last several hours

“She won’t stand a chance against that whole tree,”

Said the apple, who knew that the king would agree.

The tree, still tipping, kept cracking and creaking

Bub knew, as leader, he too should be speaking

“Why are you helping?” he asked. “A bad fruit who…”

“I didn’t want to go bad!” said she, “I rotted from you!

When you hurt my tree, my stem came unsticked

So I just held on, until I was flicked

I wanted to grow and get naturally picked!”

King Bub, upset, didn’t know what to do

He could see what the apple had told him was true:

The tree was in line to crash into Rose

(That sweetest of ones in sweet state of repose).

So he called his advisors, the “Elderberries Five”

And begged them to tell him how to revive

The tree, to save both Rose and the day.

“Give me ideas,” he said. “And I’ll do what you say!”

But the Five, for once, were scared as scared mice.

They couldn’t speak, much less give advice

Couldn’t utter a sound, not even a yelp

When another small voice went, “I think I can help.”

It was the bad apple who fell at the beginning

Who’d started this war Bub had thought he was winning

“Now I’m a bad apple, and you’re a great bush,

But I think if you gathered your friends, you could push

And straighten that tree back up nice and steady.”

“We’ll try it,” said Bub. “Is everyone ready?”

“No!” cried the Elderberries. “If he falls, we’ll be crushed!”

“Do it anyway,” spoke Bub. “And start to feel rushed!”

The tree continued his horrible slip

“Please hurry!” he said. “I’m losing my grip!”

So they did, every shrub that could help lent a branch

And they pushed up against that big tree to stanch

The crash that no one wanted to see

When Rose awoke, arose, cried, “It’s heading for me!”

And just when they all thought that it was too late

The great tree himself shifted his weight

And with everyone’s help, finally stood straight!

Every bush and each apple joyfully cheered

“We beat it together – the thing we most feared!

Our Rose is now safe, and the great tree will stand

And peace has returned throughout this good land

Bub, our Commander, has proven his greatness

(Even though, truth be told, it came with some lateness).”

“It's not so,” said Bub. “I'm not much of a leader

Rose had it right, but I didn’t heed her.

If she’d been in charge, we wouldn’t be sore

We’d be busy with berries, not making a war.

I’m sorry for the twigs that had to be broken

Because of the many mad speeches I’ve spoken

And I’m sorrier for the tree that

almost had to fall

For me to see that one bad apple

Doesn’t have to make us all.”

One bad apple doesn't have to make us all.